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As the year comes to a close, I spend a lot of time reflecting on the year, and how things went. Sometimes this makes me a bit sullen and reclusive, and other times it makes me feel excited and exhilerated. Honestly, a bit of both makes me feel comforted – this time of year, the time when the year is the darkest, should truly be a melting pot for all of the things you've faced the past year. It's the best time of year to shed off a skin and start growing a new one (who's going to see you right now?)
This past year I declared the year of 'Passion'. And honestly, I am quite satisfied with the things that came with it. Through the year, I uncovered what I'm passionate about (which I will be compiling in to a 'Magna Carta Meli' before the year is up). These things range from incredibly deep rabbit holes of topics (religion, magic, mysteries, art!) to the incredibly trite (tea, smells, trees and nature).
As I did that, some strange things started to happen in my life around me. I found myself filled with a rebellious, loud confidence that I had never had before. The kind that makes you feel like ripping your clothes and wearing sexy eyeliner (which I started to do!). It makes you defiant, honest, open. Confidence was not something I had explicitly planned on gaining this year, but through choosing passion, and following my heart, I seem to have picked it up along the way.
I let go of the people and things who weren't good for me, or started treating them the same way they treat me. I gained a TON of new friends, and then subsequently lost a bunch of them, too. I rekindled old friendships, and discovered some wonderfully surprising ones too! I found myself absolutely KICKING down things I thought were truth in my life (newsflash – they weren't) and began to redefine myself for ME. Case in point – I actually ENJOYED exercise for the first time in my life! Whaaat?!
And as I plan for 2014, I realize that this is the gift from 2013. Confidence that I can count on, take out and let cover me on the days when I need it, and guide me when I need some light to illuminate the endlessly murky path that being 20 seems to bring. The journey to redefine myself has only just begun, and the first gift from it is this confidence. This hilariously blatant rebellion and strength that I didn't see coming.
And in the next few weeks, I'll share my journey on reflecting and understanding and planning for the year ahead – I hope you'll follow along, and do some digging yourself!